 I'm tired. Cynical and broken, but wiser. Heavy with a sense of resentment, but I used to be so much different, I used to have so much faith when I started. You knew that I always meant it. I knew I could make a difference, I struggled to be heard and then finally, one day people started listening.
And I knew it but as soon as it began it was ruined. A slow descent from unique to routine, over and over, "Just do it again and this time with feeling". The spotlight. All the focus on the friends and the feelings. That made those stupid songs all worth singing. And don't you say a word unless you're pretty sure that you want it analyzed.
So we drove for what seemed like days over roads and four lane highways. We said all we had to say and I realized in time that it didn't mean anything. Never, not ever again. Not like that. "It's only a matter of time".
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-Alanna Rae McKechnie |
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